Aging for
Beginners Ezra Bayda with Elizabeth Hamilton
Wisdom Publications November
20, 2018
Review by Larry Smith
“Aging for
Beginners becomes a crafted weaving of authentic understanding, an act of
love.”
Ezra Bayda has
been practicing meditation since 1970. In 1998, he was authorized to teach Zen
by Zen master Charlotte Joko Beck, and now lives, writes, and teaches at the
Zen Center of San Diego. His books are known for their relaxed tone and helpful
sharing. Among the best are Being Zen:
Bringing Meditation to Life, Beyond
Happiness: The Zen Way to True Contentment, and Saying Yes to Life:
Even the Hard Parts. His wife Elizabeth Hamilton, who assists
Bayda in this book, is a meditation instructor and the author of Untrain Your Parrot.
As Bayda
points out, with over 15% of the U.S. population now over 65, many are now
writing about the journey into aging as a meaningful part of life. A contrast
to Stephen Jenkinson’s Come of Age: The
Case for Elderhood in a Time of Trouble (North Atlantic Books 2018), which
begins with 20 pages of staring into the abyss of age, Bayda acknowledges the
limits while moving through to concrete methods of persevering and thriving
with aging. His book divisions are: Dealing with the Terrain, Working with
Difficulties, and finally Renewal. Seen more as a ripening and freeing time in
one’s life age is seen as a “natural monastery,” a time for opening inward and outward.
Included in
his book are several guided meditations, not of Buddhism, but on mindfulness
meditation, on recognizing and befriending oneself. Bayda never gets involved
with Buddhist lineage or strict Zen practices. He shares his own life
experiences and offers some gentle yet direct guidance on dealing with the
struggles of age. He freely quotes from others such as the Thomas Merton, and
the Dalai Lama here: “He [Man] lives as if he is never going to die, and then
dies having never lived.” From Albert Camus, he pulls this poetic
understanding: “Autumn is a second spring, when every leaf is a flower.”
Key
concepts are presented with careful explanation and example, such as intention
and attention (both are essential if put into action). He points out the
necessity of distinguishing between our expectations and aspirations. And he squarely
treats the reality of pain, health, and death with understanding. He ends on a
theme of connectedness and compassion:
“When
we are able to cultivate the experience of connectedness, we can tap into one
aspect of what is considered deep wisdom: that ‘all is one.’ As we take this
understanding into the heart, particularly as we can feel into the suffering
that all of us share, we can tap into the other aspect of deepest wisdom: that ‘all
is love.’ Again, returning to the words often purported to be from the Buddha: ‘In
the end this is what matters most. How well did we love?’”
And so, Aging for Beginners becomes a crafted weaving of authentic understanding, an act
of love.
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